Saturday, May 23, 2009

5 Amazing Games

The Cardinals have only allowed 2 runs in the past 5 games. That ties the 2009 Cardinals with several other teams for the second best 5-game streak of the past 20 years (source: ESPN). It has been great, right?

Anyways, here is tonight's game summary care of the good people at ESPN during the 2 a.m. SportsCenter:

Before commercial: "... Cardinal Pitchers doing their best Bob Gibson impressions this week. Wait 'til you see the run the Cardinal rotation is on ..."

During highlight: "... [Pujols walk coverage] [Pujols steal coverage] [Stavinoha rbi double coverage] Kyle Lohse [doing well despite sucking recently] [Cards rotation doing great as of late]."

I am not a fast typist. :(


Wednesday, May 20, 2009


Top 9 (10:44): Well, there goes the shutout. Should have been over with a Soto strikeout, but the First Base Umpire is evidently an idiot. Anyways, a Reed Johnson strikeout brings this one to a close.

Meanwhile, in Houston, the Brewers are losing by 5. Good night. Goodnight.

Bottom 8 (10:28):
Nothing happened. Whatever. C'mon Franklin!

Top 8 (10:22):
Jason Motte sucks, then doesn't. Dennys Reyes made Fukudome look like an idiot.


Bottom 7 (10:11):
Rick Sutcliffe is absolutely gushing over the new Busch Stadium. For a former Cub, I sort of like this guy.

Another hit from Duncan starts the inning off right. Sacrifice works from Barden (although it probably should not have). Walk to get to Khalil Greene who flies out weakly. Heads up running play from Duncan on a ball that shouldn't have scored the run.

Dempster out. 2-run lead. I feel better, but I wonder who is coming in

Top 7 (9:54):
"Another good inning from McClellan."

Bottom 6 (9:49):
Another inning ending double play. Chances of victory: 55%

Top 6 (9:40):
McClellan pitched nicely. I hate hitting batters, but if you have to hit someone I suppose I prefer Fukudome, who is most likely to get on anyway. Nice K to end the inning.


Bottom 5 (9:30):
Carpenter is done. Damn.

Waino pinch-hitting, that is how shallow the Cardinal bench is. Feeble strike out.

Kyle McClellan is warming up. I am confident that the Cardinals are going to lose if they don't score again.

Another easy inning for Dempster.

Top 5 (9:24):
I ran to the restroom (TMI?) and suddenly the top half of the inning was over. I guess that's a good thing. I hope Carp isn't at 75. :(

Bottom 4 (9:18):
Pujols turned a single into a double. My heavens this man is good! Molina moves him over to 3rd for Duncan. I am supremely concerned about a K here, or weak grounder back to the pitcher. What shall it be ... base knock! Run! Credit Albert Pujols for creating that opportunity.

Stavinoha adds a double-play to his strike out in his first at bat. I am not impressed.

Top 4 (9:11):
Lead-off walk = shit. Fly out leads to double play! Another fly out ends the inning. I am pleased.

That said, the broadcasters seem to think Carp is on a 75 pitch pitch count. Dang. I fear we are looking at at least four innings from the bullpen.

Bottom 3 (9:00):
Carp swung! Weak grounder though. Ugh. Schumaker reaches but Rasmus lines into a double play in front of Pujols. Crap.

Top 3 (8:52):
The Cubs hitters that have reached have all done so by going with the pitches and taking them to the opposite field. Anyways, Carp gave up a double (it was a single and Stavinoha took his sweet time getting to it) but got out of it. Carp is up next, let's see if he swings.

Bottom 2 (8:44):

Top 2 (8:37):
Yep, a pitcher's duel. Settle in.

Bottom 1 (8:30):
Ugh. Is this going to be a pitcher's duel? *Sigh*

Top 1 (8:22):
Soriano K - grrrreat! So excited! Then the crap from Carp. Walk to Fukudome. Derrick Lee single. Then a double-play! It worked out. Whew!

Thank you, ESPN, for this evening. That said, your love of the Cubs is bound to annoy ths shit out of me tonight, but you can't be any worse than WGN ... I hope.

Before we start, let's have a look at Alphonso Soriano looking ridiculous during a WWE event in Chicago. PLAY BALL!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009


RECAP: Joel Pineiro was awesome. Molina was clutch in the first, and Rasmus homered (again).

Top 9th (10:19):
Quick first out. Un-quick second out. Soriano K. Awesome game!

Bottom 8th (10:12):
Two fly outs to right. Pujols double (how the hell did he get to 2nd on that?). Molina ground out. The Cards clearly feel they have scored enough runs. I hope they're right.

It's Ryan Franklin intimidating beard time!! EDIT: J.P. going for the shutout! What was I thinking?

Top 8th (10:02):
Duncan and Stavinoha out. Improved defense. One pitch, one out. Another out and then a Geovany Soto K. Cubs look like shit, let's be honest.

Bottom 7th (9:57):
Another easy inning for Lilly. The Brewers have a 2-run lead in Houston right now.

Top 7th (9:52):
J.P. keeps rolling. Two fly outs in the game (this does not include Lee's line out to center).

Cubs broadcasters are so desperate they are hoping for Cardinal errors. "All Cardinals, all Pineiro so far."

Bottom 6th (9:45):
Molina hustle out. Duncan hustle out. Stavinoha to the warning track. Lilly would be winning this game most days.

When Derrick Lee does pretty much anything the broadcasters make comments about his health. "Hope he is alright." Really? So fragile that his health is a concern everytime he fields a ball? Sad.

Top 6th (9:40):
One pitch, one out. Lilly out. Soriano out. J.P. is working faster than I can type! (Not really.)

Bottom 5th (9:34):
I thirst for runs. The Cardinals, however, are shit. Two hits. That's it. Two. Pathetic.

J.P. strikes out looking. Thurston lines out to 1B.
The Cardinals have officially let the struggling opposing pitcher find a groove. this pathetic inning is about to end ...

Wait ...

Ryan reaches for the third time with a single to center. Rasmus no-doubt dinger. 3-run lead. Russ smiles, sips beer, sits back.

Lilly's curveball is nasty, btw. It look's unnaturally ... um ... curvy(?).

Top 5th (9:22):
The Cubs keep swinging on the first pitch. Two quick outs. Unfortunately, Fontenot's swing gave him a double. Fortunately, Soto still sucks. Cubs stranded their first runner of the night. Good stuff.

Bottom 4th (9:15):
Chris Duncan K's looking. Pathetic. Has he done anything recently? Stavinoha single followed up moments later by Barden double-play. I guess the Cardinals are satisfied with one run.

Rasmus' sacrifice is starting to look sensible.

Top 4th (9:10):
One pitch, one out, for Soriano. 35 pitches to get the first 10 outs = nice. Two pitches, second out. One pitch, third out. 38 pitches through 4 IP = RUSS LIKES!


Bottom 3rd (9:06):
Thurston draws a walk and sprints to first base. I love that. Brendan Ryan, who also walked to lead off an inning, walks again. Two men on and no outs, Rasmus fails to move the runners over. Terrible. Got to get that runner to 3rd so the next hitter can get a sac fly.

Pujols through two at bats: 3 LOB, 2 in scoring position. Ugh.

Will Molina deliver? No. Wasted opportunity.

Bob Brenly stupid comment counter: 3 ("... when Cubs fans are in attendance all you see is blue." Really? Cubs fans don't wear white or gray?).

Top 3rd (8:50):
Remember when Giovany Soto was good? Me either. Aaron Miles hits like a girl. Ted Lilly got embarrassed by a ball in the dirt.

J.P. looks pretty good. Now that I have said that I expect total failure.

Bottom 2nd (8:46):
Stavinoha = CRAP. Barden = CRAP. J.P. = SHIT. Cards' half of the 2nd = *pfffttt* (that's supposed to be a fart noise -- I am trying to suggest it was a bad half inning).

Top 2nd (8:40):
Before the first pitch of the inning WGN showed an overweight Cardinals fan with his chest painted and suggested a dress code for "this park." Whatever.

D. Lee gets a single up the middle. Milton Bradley hits into DP. Mike Fontenot swings like a girl.

Easy inning.

Bottom of the First (8:32):
Lead-off walk, sacrifice (WHY!?), then Pujols. Teeming with anticipation ... for a foul out. Ugh. Thankfully, mercifully, Molina drives the run home -- improving his .429 average with runners in scoring position.

LaRussa looked PISSED after Rasmus' bunt. He isn't the only pissed off observer. Are the Cardinals so pathetic that they need to sacrifice runners into scoring position in the first? Terrible decision by Rasmus, who is batting .080 against lefties.

Broadcaster note: The Cardinals have only scored 13 runs with Ludwick out. I feel sick.

Top of the First (8:18):
Bob Brenly just called Chris Duncan a "truck driver" and said to "be careful." I have no idea what he is talking about or who he is talking to. J.P. took one batter to piss me off. The broadcasters are already getting a lot of mileage out of how great the Cardinal staff was last month and how crappy it has been in May.

Molina pick-off! Cubs broadcasters think it was a bad call. Objectivity FAIL!

First Impressions (8:13)
: WGN looks like shit and their broadcasters are shit. Bob Brenly is a nice guy, but I don't like him as a broadcaster. I may have to mute this slop. They think Derrick Lee is going to have a good game because he had a good game yesterday. Great analysis, thanks.

Since I am watching this evening's game on WGN. And since I haven't watched or blogged the last three games (thankfully?). And since Art and Beth have left and hopefully un-cursed the Cards. Here goes the live blogging.

Thursday, May 14, 2009


Cards won, finally.

Art and Beth are in town (bro and sis-in-law). Lindsay is in town too (pimp cousin). I am working otherwise. Lonely blog, write yourself. ... [GO.]

Well, It Could Be Worse

At least none of the Cardinal pitchers have done this:

The Cardinals Are Sh** Right Now

[End Blog Post.]

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Good News, Bad News

Good: Carpenter felt no pain in a 75-pitch, full speed outing yesterday and could make a start next week.

Bad: Ludwick is probably heading to the Disabled List. After having one too many outfielders for the past month and a half, the Cardinals now find themselves one short. Grrrrreat!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Break It Down! May 12th Edition

I'll let this joker break it down for you:

This guy is a fan of the Pirates and he thinks they are only a 60 win, 102 loss, ball club. The only pitchers on the entire Pirates staff he has anything nice to say about are Olhendorf (whom he predicts will have more no decisions than wins) and Matt Capps. He also thinks that Doumit and McClouth are the only position players worth a shit. Sad outlook, but understandable after 16 consecutive losing seasons.

Anyways, I am sure the Cardinals will find a way to give away 1 or 2 games in the series. Duke and Olhendorf are 1-3 against the Cardinals, with their only win coming on April 8th. Jeff Karstens, Thursday's starter, hasn't faced the Cardinals, but he has been fairly crappy so far this season. Whatever the case, the Cardinals need to perform well in this series to build some momentum for a weekend series against the Brewers, followed by three against the Cubs (all 6 at Busch).

Well that's it in the way of analysis(?). Wish I were in Pittsburgh. GO CARDS!!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

My First 2009 Trip to Camden Yards

Tonight I will be following the Cardinals as I sit in the stands at Camden Yards. The Yankees are in town and a dear friend of mine and I and some other chaps will be in attendance. My friend, Ben, is a fan of the Yankees, but to his credit he hates A-Rod. Like, a lot. He told me all about it during the games we went to last weekend in Washington, right before the A-Rod book came out. Anyways, I will be wearing a hypodermic needle costume and shouting obscenities into a bullhorn for every A-Rod at bat, so that will be fun.

The Cardinals face Aaron Harang tonight. Kyle Lohse pitches for the Cardinals. I am not confident. Still, GO CARDS!!

Friday, May 8, 2009


Breaking news: Joel Pineiro is crap. There is only one out in the Reds' half of the 2nd and I am alreaady certain that the Cardinals will lose. Thanks, J.P.

Break It Down! May 8th Edition

Guest analyst time:

This in depth Cincinnati Reds analysis was for last year's team, but I think the conclusion is still true today ("We suck."). Bet against the Reds, folks. They have had 8 consecutive losing seasons, after all.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

"That's a Winner!" - 19

Nice win. VERY nice sweep! I know it was only two games and I know it was the Pirates, but a sweep is a sweep and the Pirates are no slouches. (Alright, they're sort of slouches.)

Anyways, Todd Wellemeyer impressed for the first time in awhile, and that is good news. Also, ... well, ...

Let me just get something off my back: RYAN FRANKLIN has been the best closer in baseball so far! Three closers in Major League Baseball are perfect so far in 9 save opportunities. Two have 0.00 ERAs. One has the lowest ERA among the 9-save closers (0.45) and he also has the highest K/BB among 9-save closers (5.50). That closer's name is Ryan Franklin. To those of us following the Cardinals, this shouldn't be news. Still,'s Cliff Corcoran is not convinced. Corcoran thinks that the Cardinals are 29th in closer rankings. THAT IS 29TH OUT OF 30 MLB TEAMS! Corcoran bases his rankings on "reliability." RELIABILITY!?!? I am sorry to get so emotional, but this is entirely ridiculous! Look at the stats, correct me if I am wrong.

Oh, btw, the same outfit that thinks the Cardinals have the second worst closer in baseball,, thinks that the Cardinals are the second best team in baseball without a suspended slugger. They also think that the Cardinals have the best manager in baseball. Shocking stuff.

Anyways, like I said: "Nice win. VERY nice sweep!" GO CARDS!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The Video

Just saw this. In the brief clip that I saw yesterday I didn't notice that Pujols was there before any other non-outfielder. I also didn't see the video 8 times in about 3 or 4 minutes. The announcers seem uncomfortable with the video, but the director sure doesn't have any problem showing it repeatedly. Damn glad he sounds like he is going to be alright.

Good Work, Sir (Not Really)

Not profane, but not cool. [Source]

Monday, May 4, 2009


All the hours outdoors in the rain Friday and Sunday have got me ill. Very ill. I hope to return to blogging by Wednesday.

UPDATE: I don't have the H1N1 "swine" flu, so that's good.

UPDATE 2: At least I am healthier than Rick Ankiel. Sure hope we all hear the phrase "x-rays were negative" on Tuesday. I will be out of the office and away from my computer, so if you have my number and care to do so, please text me with the results.

UPDATE 3: Early Ankiel update from Leach.