Rebirth!

A new season begins, and with it come predictions sure to be wrong.

Before I start, how pathetic is it that the first Major League Baseball game of the season, an inter-division game featuring the reigning World Champions, has been relegated to ESPN2? No major network? Not even regular ESPN? They'll probably interrupt the game to tell us some meaningless bullshit about Tom Brady or Jay Cutler. Sad.

Here goes:

AL East:
- Tampa Bay Rays: I don't see any reason to believe they won't perform as well or better than last season. Full season of Price, Sonnanstine and Longoria, add Burrell, and I think you have a 95 win ball club.
- New York Yankees: I think this team is pretty good, but with A-Rod out for a while, with Jeter on the decline, and with two overpaid, under performing free agent signee starters, I don't think they've improved enough. I do NOT believe that Sabathia and Burnett present a great enough improvement. I am as impressed by everyone else by the second half Sabathia had last season, but I haven't forgotten how shitty he was the first half.
- Boston Red Sox: They could also finish first if things fall into place. This just isn't a team I believe in. I suppose my problem with them is that I don't think Dice-K is going to get away with it again this year, too many pitches per inning, and with the exception of Beckett I don't think their other starters are reliable enough. They're still a 90 win ball club though.
- Baltimore Orioles: Out of the basement and making a run at .500. I am looking forward to watching this team this year. Wieters (once he gets called up) may be the next big thing, and I love their outfield: Felix Pie, Nick Markakis and Adam Jones. Staff is highly suspect, but I think this team may still get over the hump.
- Toronto Blue Jays: I wish Roy Halladay played for a relevant baseball team.

American League Central:
- Cleveland Indians: Every year the guys at ESPN get all a twitter over these guys and they dissappoint. I am tired of hearing about how great Grady Sizemore is, aren't you. Still, I think Cliff Lee and Fausto Carmona are the two best starters in this division. Interesting note for you Cards fans: Anthony Reyes is in the Indians rotation. Yeah.
- Minnesota Twins: Who cares about this team and the rest of the AL Central? Seriously.
- Detroit Tigers: Remember when eveyone thought this team was going to be good? I think they're going to be better, but not good enough.
- Chicago White Sox: Bartolo Colon is on their starting rotation. 'Nuff said.
- Kansas City Royals: Not a bad lineup, actually. Bad pitching staff, actually.

American League West:
- Los Angeles Angels: What happened to this team last year? I guess injured pitchers is the answer, but after the Teixera acquisition I thought this team was AWESOME. Since losing in the playoffs the Angels have lost Texeira and K-Rod, and now I think they're a 90 win division winner, but nothing more.
- Oakland Athletics: Not a bad team, but not very good either. I guess they're a .500 ball club.
- Seattle Mariners: Warms my heart to see Ken Griffey Jr. back in a Mariner uniform. Additionally, I expect Eric Bedard and Felix Hernandez to rebound. This team just isn't good enough though. $10.00 to the reader who can name the MAriner's manager without looking it up. ... That's right, Don Wakamatsu.
- Texas Rangers: Josh Hamilton and Ian Kinsler are great, the rest of this team isn't.

National League East:
- New York Mets: Three MVP candidates (I'm told) and three of the best closers in the game. The Mets addressed their bullpen problem and then some. It's a 7 inning ballgame against the guys and I love their lineup, basically. Still, screw these guys. Everytime I see Jose Reyes dancing this season I am going to kill a kitten. The deaths of those kittens will be on his head.
- Philadelphia Phillies: How did this team win the World Series last year? I hate their pitching staff with the exception of Hamels and Lidge. They have three MVP candidates (I'm told), but I don't like their lineup nearly as much as I like the Mets. Seriously, can a guy have 200 strikeouts and be considered an MVP candidate? Pujols got robbed in 2006.
- Atlanta Braves: Just found out Hudson is going to miss most of the season. Pity, I kind of liked this team. Whatever.
- Florida Marlins: This team is only going to improve as their starters get older. Josh Johnson is a star folks, mark my words.
- Washington Nationals: With apologies to my friend Jeff, this team sucks. They should be exciting at times though. A lot of young talent, I think, but they're not going to put it together this season.

National League Central:
- Chicago Cubs: Yeah, they're good. Whatever, screw these guys. They're an injury away from mediocrity if Zambrano or Lee go down. Ryan Dempster is not going to win 17 games again. He won't win 15, for that matter and I don't think he'll lose any fewer than 10. Ultimately, although I think this is probably the best team in the National League, they're going to go out with a whimper in the playoffs. Losers.
- St. Louis Cardinals: If the Cardinals (who I will try not to call "we" too much on this blog) can stay healthy, then they can compete for this division. That's a big "if" though. Carpenter and Wainwright could be the best 1-2 in the NL, and lord knows Pujols is going to put up numbers, but they've all got to stay healthy. Glaus has got to get healthy too.Whatever the case, I am not as down on the Cardinals as a lot of "experts." 90 wins seems possible, the Wild Card, maybe. I could say more, but I'll save it for the season.
- Cincinnati Reds: I guess I like their rotation better than the losers under them on this list. However, since they're the Reds, I assume they'll fail.
- Milwaukee Brewers: Ryan Braun and Corey Hart are good players, these other losers aren't. Rickie Weeks, J.J. Hardy, Prince Fielder, Mike Cameron, Bill Hall - all capable of hitting long homers, all suck otherwise.
- Houston Astros: What do Wandy Rodriguez, Mike Hampton, Brian Moehler, and Russ Ortiz all have in common - they're going to piss off Houston Astro fans for the next 6 months. Roy Oswalt is going to be asked to stop a lot of 4-game losing streaks this season.
- Pittsburgh Pirates: I can't think of anything nice to say about this team. I don't like any of their players. 105 losses.

National League West:
- Los Angeles Dodgers: The best team in a bad division, if they can keep their key pieces healthy I think they're gonna win this division by 10 games. I'm concerned about their bullpen though.
- Arizona Diamondbacks: Still a good young team, still a few players away.
- San Francisco Giants: Their staff could be good, but probably won't be, right? Randy Johnson hasn't got it anymore. Barry Zito is shit. This team also lacks punch in their lineup.
- Colorado Rockies: Crap.
- San Diego Padres: Crappiest. Is it a contradiction to say they'll "compete" for worst team in the league?

Playoffs:
- American League: Rays over Indians and Angels over Yankees, then Rays over Angels
- National League: Dodgers over Cubs and Mets over Cardinals, the Mets over Dodgers
- World Series: Mets. Ugh.